My girlfriend is constantly going out with her friends, and it really bothers me. I know that jealousy isn’t a good thing, but there’s something inside me that feels like she doesn’t want to spend time with me either. Is it normal for her to hang out with her friends? Why do I feel this way?
My ex was constantly meeting up with her friends too. At first, I thought it was normal, but then it started to seem like she was having way more fun with them. In the end, we talked openly about it, but it didn’t get resolved. We broke up.
What’s going on with constantly going out with a friend like this? When someone starts a relationship, they should respect it. My family would also be upset with something like this; they’re right.
@kahvebitmeden what does that have to do with it? It’s just that relationships fall apart because of waiting for interest. Everyone will have their own space, it’s that simple.
You need to draw a line. Politely tell them that you are uncomfortable, but without causing a rift. Sometimes it’s not the issue itself, but that communication breaks down. You need to be heard.
Are the friends male or female? Also, how often does this happen, every day? We need to clarify.
@pazardandondum female friends meet 2-3 times a week. But it sometimes feels to me like it’s more frequent.
@aklimkaldi I think you’re overreacting. Doing it three times a week is quite normal. Everything doesn’t have to be the way you feel.
She asks directly. Is she avoiding her friends or you?
I’ve been in a similar situation; when I said I was jealous, it only made things worse. But you can’t just bottle everything up and expect to maintain the relationship either. It’s a tricky balance.
I think the part about friendship is less important than the “how much time they dedicate to you, what their priorities are” issue. Having 2-3 social gatherings a week is normal, but if you’re being overlooked in the background, it can cause discomfort. Think about that ratio.
So what kind of friend group is it? Is it mixed, or is it a consistent team from the same circle? Because sometimes the issue is in the frequency; who they spend time with can actually be a clue. Observe that.
You may feel a sense that “there’s a more enjoyable, different world outside with someone else.” The issue is less about the number of meetings and more about how they communicate with you once they’re back. If they come home and are completely preoccupied with their phone or something else, that can be more stressful. Pay attention to these details.
Doesn’t the outside loop tell you a bit, even if it doesn’t include you completely? I mean, if something so frequently discussed is being shared, there would normally be some reflection of it for you as well. If this is missing, a sense of distance arises in the relationship.
I can overlook the fact that we meet so often and she doesn’t share anything, but sometimes such a busy social life also reflects on the relationship. If she’s maintaining balance in her own area, then there’s no problem, but if there’s a constant vibe of “this is my life, you stay over there,” then feeling uncomfortable is normal. Do you think there are times when your life intersects with these meetups?