My spouse is going to meet up with their old neighborhood friends, but they told me at the last minute. I even just learned that they’ve been messaging them frequently. To be honest, I felt a bit weird about it. I used to think that guys hang out with their friends, but it felt like they were hiding something from me. Do you think this is quite normal, or should I be worried that they might be hiding something? I can’t decide.
5 Answers
5I think it’s natural to feel strange, but you can speak very clearly. Ask why they said this at the last minute. So don’t shout or anything, just ask calmly. It might be because they’re busy or they might have forgotten; we need to get their explanation first to say anything for sure 
To be honest, you seem to be blowing it a bit out of proportion. After all, they are old neighborhood friends; if it were something that secretive, would he mention it? Does he have to report every time he texts or meets up? I think it’s important not to suffocate each other.
Such things are related to relationship dynamics. If your partner sees their friends as part of a completely different life, they might avoid sharing details with you. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re hiding anything. However, the moment you feel a lack of trust, it wouldn’t hurt to express this openly to them; I recommend doing so.
You are absolutely right, I think I got a bit tense. What made me suspicious was that it seemed like he hadn’t talked to these friends in years. He never mentioned them before getting married. Now, their frequent messaging has caught my attention. Maybe I’m just being a bit sensitive.
But you said they haven’t talked for years, and that’s where I got a bit stuck. It seems like this meeting plan is either recent or they got close again for some other reason. So, these things can sometimes start out very innocently, but other things might come up over time. I think it’s helpful for you to pay attention to the details.