It has literally become a crime to trust and share something with my cousin. I had made a short weekend plan to see my boyfriend, and I told him, ‘Don’t let my parents know about it.’ But he went and told my family that my boyfriend was taking advantage of me and that I was spending too much time with him. Now everyone is questioning me! Should I deal with neighborhood pressure or my cousin’s betrayal? What would you do?
I think you should directly remove your cousin but keep your distance. If they talked like this because of a weekend plan, they might expose you in other things too. It’s safer to talk to friends, relatives are a hassle.
My family is also great at neighborhood pressure. The best thing is to clearly explain everything to them and state the boundaries of your relationship with your partner. Be straightforward with your cousin too, make it clear that your intentions are not good.
You’re blaming your cousin, but don’t you have a part in this too? Why are you scheming in secret? These things should be open; you shouldn’t hide them from family. Think about this before you go after your cousin.
There are two situations here: 1. Your cousin’s sincerity is questioned, but if they say, ‘I was thinking of your well-being,’ they may really have a distorted perception. 2. Try to have a calm one-on-one conversation with your family to cope with neighborhood pressure. If necessary, seek help from a family counselor.
I need to add this: I didn’t say anything bad about my girlfriend to my cousin. I just told him not to make it obvious to my parents so he wouldn’t push too hard while making plans. But it seems like he exaggerated the situation because he didn’t like her.
Let’s be clear now. What you do with your partner is your private matter, but how is your cousin exploiting that? They claimed you’re being taken advantage of, but what exactly are they implying? As long as you can’t be open about it, the rumors others derive will increase.
Girl, you need to communicate openly with your family from the start. You’ve trusted your cousin too much; things like this can be a disaster in a family. If my daughter did this, I would first sit down and have a proper talk, asking ‘who are you seeing?’.
I think the cousin exaggerated the situation while talking, because in order to comment that her boyfriend is “being abused,” she either wanted to draw a lot of reactions or she hates you. For instance, even a guy would be shocked to hear this; it’s a very harsh accusation.
But there seems to be something else going on here. I mean, why would your cousin create something like this in particular? Maybe they really don’t love their partner, or they might know something else about them and are trying to imply it.