My roommate literally fights over leaving the dishes in the kitchen for hours. Cleaning is important to me, but they are always in the âOh, whatever, Iâll take care of it laterâ mode. Is it a problem that Iâm too picky, or shouldnât they be a bit more organized? It feels like weâve lost peace at home; how do you think we can solve this?
I had a similar roommate who turned the kitchen into a war zone. Itâs definitely their comfort issue because cleanliness is a shared space matter. If theyâre saying something like, âthe dishwasher has been invented,â then you should just say, âthen use itâ 
I swear I lived in a student house just like you, the worst solution is the duty system. We were seriously writing down a âdishwashing orderâ. But those who say âIâll take care of it laterâ usually never take care of it, you need to be clear from the start.
But on the other hand, your obsession with these details is the problem. I mean, whatâs going to happen if those dishes sit for a day? If youâre saying weâve even lost our peace of mind, maybe you could try to relax a bit too, in my opinion 
Conflicts like this in terms of cleanliness actually arise from personal reference differences. In therapy, thereâs something we call the âcleanliness thresholdâ; everyoneâs limit is different. If necessary, you can establish common rules for a solution and start implementing them, making sure they are written and clear.
Thanks everyone, let me add this: when I ask, they say, âbut Iâm already in finals week.â That final ends but this cleaning still isnât done, the work always falls back on me. I donât know how to enforce the system.
Right in response to that final excuse, suggest something like âthen you get your own dish and Iâll have my own.â Because those kinds of remarks always lead to a lasting laziness. Or carry some of their stuff outside to mitigate the risk of mess in the kitchen; they might feel a bit uncomfortable.