My partner and I are thinking seriously about our future, but my mom has been against it from the start. She keeps saying, ‘your salary isn’t enough, this kid won’t have a proper marriage.’ I know some things are important before getting married, but what should weigh more, profession or love? What do you think, how can one cope with this kind of pressure?
So, here’s the thing, the salary issue is a delicate matter. If the guy is sure of his love, it seems to me that he’d fight for his low salary. But your mom isn’t wrong either; she’s looking out for you. Are you willing to make do with little once you get married, for example? I think you should sit down and talk about these things openly. Love alone isn’t enough, you know.
I saw something similar in my aunt’s daughter. The kid was sweet and hardworking, but things always fell apart because of money. You say love is one thing and finances are another, but in reality, one feeds the other. Do financial difficulties crush your love? Make sure you’re ready for that. Love is beautiful, but the saying that it doesn’t feed your stomach is not without reason.
Your mother might be right, I mean, it may seem like she’s exaggerating the issue, but in the end, she’s someone who wants what’s best for you. Just because you love him, you can’t ignore the salary issue. If the man knows he doesn’t have the capacity to support a family, why can he think seriously about it? I think you should question this too; your mother might not be the only one at fault here.
These kinds of pressures usually stem from families’ economic fears. In Turkey, marriages often revolve heavily around material matters. I think you should try to understand your mother’s perspective, but it’s also good to make financial plans with your partner. Have open discussions about the budget? Even if the salary is insufficient, you can still progress with a planned economy.
Let me add something; my girlfriend is actually trying to change the situation as well. She wants to change jobs, and it’s not just my mom who is concerned about her salary. But there’s also the thing that my family seems to underestimate her from the beginning. It feels like she’s not given value just because she earns less.
I don’t think you need to worry about it here. Similar things are happening around me too. Your salary may be low right now, but if your partner finds a better job, you’ll find comfort. I understand your mother, but this is somewhat related to how much you believe. You’re asking if status is important, look at your heart, which one brings you peace?