My fiancée messaged his ex three weeks before the wedding. I was completely shocked when I found out; it’s making me think a lot about this situation. While preparing for the wedding, his connection to his past confused me. Is this normal?
I experienced the same thing. Before the wedding, I found out you sent a message, and I thought my world was collapsing. Then I directly asked why you wrote, but you didn’t even give a satisfying answer. I canceled the wedding. Once trust is shaken, it’s hard to recover.
Why did he message his ex-girlfriend, though? Were you able to find out? Was it out of curiosity or was there another issue?
I don’t know why I didn’t ask before the coffee. But I learned about that message from a friend, and it was just something like ‘what’s up, how are you’. Still seemed very silly.
@aklimkaldi are you sure your only message was ‘what’s up, how are you’? Maybe your friend hasn’t told you the whole story. Just ask your fiancée directly; otherwise, you might just end up overthinking it.
If you’ve heard about something like this, ask your fiancé outright. You really need to talk; otherwise, this suspicion will settle in your mind. I think you shouldn’t leave it unclear before the wedding.
I’m sorry, but why write about this sensitive period of engagement? If she was to let go of her old relationships, what was the point? I confront directly. And she won’t back off until the wedding.
@hatconene is very right, I think this job doesn’t end with just a ‘what’s up, how are you’. The truth may be different, don’t let go of this issue.
Focus on the topic. I think you should ask without pressuring your fiancé.
Writing to an ex is already odd in itself, but finding out from a friend is another level of strange. Why did your fiancée hide this? Even if it was just “Hey, how are you,” you should have known about it; I think the real issue here is honesty.
Hey, how are you? Why would someone who writes that hide something from a friend? Maybe your fiancé wrote something else, but didn’t want you to hear this part. There’s a high possibility that information learned from a friend is incomplete or altered. You need to hear it directly from your fiancé.