I rented a room in a house to be close to work, and when I posted the ad, the woman spoke quite warmly, saying it would feel comfortable like girl talk. The first week was fine, but then she started making comments like no guests allowed, donāt take a shower after a certain time, the kitchen closes at this hour, and not to lounge around in shorts in the living room because it would cause a stir in the building. On one hand, Iām experiencing living without family for the first time, and I donāt want to go back, but on the other hand, it really feels like Iām paying to be monitored. Iām afraid if I speak too harshly sheāll tell me to vacate the place, especially since I barely managed to come up with the deposit and I donāt want to spend an hour commuting after work.
Iām very close to the subject; Iāve been living apart from my family for years, and Iāve often come across people like this. While trying to maintain my own space without pressure, there are always those who act in a āI know bestā mode. The cleanest approach is to be the one who is friendly and preserves boundaries when meeting at home, but also to not let them walk all over you. As they said, āI see you as my daughter,ā thatās always a trap.
I definitely disagree, but let me ask: didnāt the woman tell you these rules at the beginning? Was everything she said when she said āyouāll be comfortableā really this?
@uykuarasi at first didnāt say anything, it really felt like āno worries, I can chill tooā. Later on, they started, and in the meantime, I already paid the deposit. Now if I say Iām leaving, I donāt even know when Iāll gather the deposit for the new place.
@camkenari I agree with the whole āI see you as my daughterā thing. Usually, itās just an excuse to add new rules, then comes the phrase āIām saying this for your own good.ā Am I a tenant or do the rules get updated?
@pazardandondum I think you shouldnāt be so pessimistic. What if the woman is really well-intentioned? I mean, if it were a complaint about the apartment, I would understand. There have been people in my life that I saw as ālike my daughterā; nobody messes around with traps.
In practice, renting doesnāt just mean the ālandlord ruleā; it also means āpersonal spaceā at the same time. However, in such cases, written contracts actually determine things. If these rules arenāt stated in the contract, it becomes more like imposition. Explain politely that youāre uncomfortable, and donāt be afraid of eviction, Snoopy.
shut up, it wonāt work like this.