I’ve been getting along really well with my girlfriend for a while, but the other day she indirectly mentioned that I have a very harsh expression on my face and that I might want to consider getting cosmetic surgery. She didn’t say it in a rude way, but it bothered me. Should I really do something like that, or is it better to stay natural? Has anything like this ever happened to you?
9 Answers
9My ex-girlfriend suggested that I get my eyebrows done during our relationship. I felt so uncomfortable that I didn’t do it, even if I was thinking about it. A person should only change themselves if they want to, it’s not nice to take someone else’s opinion into account. You have to set boundaries on this.
Let me be very clear with you now, a lot of girls around me got their noses done because of their boyfriends. Most regretted it because once you hear something, there are always questions left in your mind: ‘Did he think I was ugly before?’ Trust me.
In fact, this situation occurs more often than you might think. When your partner makes a suggestion, you need to focus on how you feel individually. Are you wanting it for yourself, or do you feel like you’re being crushed under your partner’s desire? If you think you’re in the second group, seeking professional support might be helpful.
But let me be clear now, maybe your girlfriend was just being honest? She mentioned that you had a very harsh expression on your face, which is just an opinion. She didn’t insult you after all. From her perspective, I don’t think there may be any ill intentions.
Now that I read your comments, I realized this: My boyfriend actually said it in a very sweet way. He even said something like, ‘You’re already very beautiful, but you could be even more attractive.’ But still, I felt uneasy. I’m not sure if I’m affected because such things have become very common.
I don’t think your girlfriend didn’t say anything directly because she has an issue with your nose. She was probably talking about someone around her or saw something related to noses and it stuck in her mind. I’m not sure if she sent a direct message.
If you’re really thinking about aesthetics, consult a doctor first. Don’t make a direct decision for surgery. There are lighter solutions like fillers that you can ask about too. But as I said, get a thorough expert opinion first. Otherwise, there are many people who are not satisfied.
To be honest, it’s not strange for partners to make such suggestions because everyone has their own understanding of beauty. But the real issue here is how you feel. Their intentions may not be bad, but if it makes you feel pressured, it can leave lasting effects on you.
Now we need to question your behavior a bit, sorry. Your partner has shared an observation with you. Why did you take it so personally? If you felt uncomfortable, you can express that openly, but there’s no need to go on the defensive right away. In a relationship, it’s important to leave some room for criticism.