My girlfriend is an engineer, but my family doesn't approve

Family & Society
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1

My boyfriend is an engineer, but my family thinks his salary is low. They even oppose our marriage. I love him, but the family pressure is very strong. What should I do, how can I overcome this situation?

2

I’ve been through something similar, yeah. Because of my family’s obsession with money, it took us 3 years to get engaged. But my boyfriend didn’t do anything extra to impress them. I convinced them all by myself.

3

Honestly, I can’t blame the family either. A salary is a cornerstone in marriage. Is a man going to leave his daughter hungry? I think he needs to be a bit more grounded.

4

@kahvebitmeden but no one is working on this salary issue as if it’s always expected from men. If there’s love, one can step in and help together; money can be resolved under any circumstances.

5

Having such a rift with the family can cause problems in the future. Try to sit down openly and find out, in the presence of your partner, what other issues they are concerned about besides your salary. Maybe there’s a misunderstanding.

6

How long have you been together? Has your family had enough opportunity to get to know him/her?

7

@pazardandondum It’s been 2 years, we’ve met up many times. But it seems like they can’t be pleased no matter what.

8

@kahvebitmeden will this still be a family issue, I mean, isn’t marriage about the lives of two people? How much salary would be enough for them to come and say ‘okay’?

9

If it comes before love, there’s already a problem from the start.

10

Is she using her family salary as an excuse to criticize her character, or is the only issue really money? Sometimes the issue seems to be money, but in reality, there are other things that are bothering her. This needs to be clarified.

11

Maybe your family is a bit hung up on the whole “professional prestige” thing. You say you’re an engineer, but in what field, where do you work? Sometimes people aren’t satisfied with just the label; they also expect “personal success” or something. Did they clearly explain why they couldn’t accept it?

12

If a family is fixated on the issue of “prestige,” what is the idea of a “suitable partner” in their minds? Do they themselves meet those standards, or are they just expecting others to? Question that side a little, too.