My partner and I are thinking seriously about our future, but my family keeps criticizing me, saying, ‘How are you going to build a home with that salary?’ According to them, I should focus on my career first, then get married. But I’m happy with him, isn’t that enough? Do you think my family is right or are they too involved?
6 Answers
6I had experienced the same thing. My partner and I had decided to get married, even though my salary wasn’t very good, but I was happy. My parents pressured me, saying “then let him find a better job.” They were always talking, thinking only about me, but what was conveyed was very heavy. Back then, even my self-confidence had fallen. I told them that I understood their concerns, but my life was my decision. Over time, they accepted it. Maybe you could try to give it some time.
Honestly, how low is your partner’s salary that they are getting so much pressure? I mean, if they have been stuck at the same salary for 3-5 years or haven’t developed themselves at all, just saying ‘I’m happy’ might not be enough. Will you still feel that relaxed when you are dealing with financial difficulties in the future? Your family might also have such concerns, and this needs to be clarified.
Actually, the reason families approach this way is often because they want you to remain carefree about your future. Economic difficulties are one of the biggest sources of stress in marriages. So, I can’t say that your family is completely unjustified, but what you could do here is share your partner’s goals and plans with them in a more concrete way. If they don’t hear an explanation that eases their concerns, the resistance will continue.
Friends, my girlfriend’s salary is above minimum wage but not by much. There is an opportunity for promotion at her company as well. However, my parents say, ‘If she doesn’t do it now, she never will.’ I’m trying to explain that she is improving day by day, but they don’t understand. I’m not sure if we should have a more direct conversation.
The salary issue could be an excuse for me here. I’m not saying I fully trust your family; maybe they are bothered by something else but can’t express it? For instance, do they not like his family, or are they trying to point out a different character problem? Such things come to my mind. As they keep saying the salary is insufficient, they might be fixating on that point.
Look, you need to clearly explain your partner’s salary increase potential to your family. It will be easier for them to be convinced with concrete data. I think you should sit down with your partner and work on this topic together. For example, give examples like ‘right now it’s this much, but if he gets this position, it will be this much.’ If they feel like ‘this kid is trying,’ they might soften up a bit.