The Doubt that Gnaws at Me When I Flip the Phone

Marriage & Long Relationship
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Recently, my spouse has developed a strange habit with their phone. Whenever they put it on the table, they always turn the screen face down. Normally, I wouldn’t pay much attention to things like this, but it’s been happening quite often. Moreover, I noticed one night that they completely silenced their phone. I don’t have the courage to ask directly because I don’t want to come off as jealous. Do you think I’ve become paranoid out of desperation, or am I justified in being a little cautious?

6 Answers

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Well, I had the same conversation too. My ex always put her phone upside down and would turn it to airplane mode at night. The last time, I saw a message where she sent hearts or something to someone else. But I didn’t do anything until I was sure because if you’re wrong, it puts you in a bad situation. I think you should be careful, but don’t jump to conclusions right away.

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So, have you ever felt things like this before, or have there been any other suspicious movements or anything? Living constantly with doubt is exhausting for a person. Maybe there’s a completely different reason for it.

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@gizemkorkmaz actually didn’t have something like this before. I mean, normally he was quite open, he would leave his phone out in the open, and wouldn’t mind me looking at it. But he’s changed a bit in the last 1-2 months, it seems to me like he’s constantly in a state of hiding something.

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@derya1987 I think it’s wrong to immediately jump to cheating. Everyone has their personal space, and this situation doesn’t necessarily mean something bad. We need to talk a bit; being paranoid without talking will only cause more harm :smiling_face_with_tear:

6

Trust is important between spouses, but there should also be boundaries. If you see the situation as a threat, it’s impossible to resolve it without talking. Maybe they are not hiding anything, but you feel bad in this uncertainty. You need to express your feelings.

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@sibelpsikolog well, that’s nice to say, but if we expressed every feeling, life wouldn’t go on. I mean, sometimes you try to resolve certain things within yourself, and that can be okay. But remaining silent just to avoid looking jealous can, in the long run, be worse, I think.