My roommate’s cleaning habits in the new house I just moved into are a bit challenging for me. For example, even though I tell them that they should clean the countertop after using the kitchen, they always come up with an excuse. They say, ‘I’ll clean it in the evening,’ but they forget. I feel like we’re getting a bit tense since I keep reminding them. Am I making a big deal out of this, or should I speak openly about my need for order? How would you resolve this?
Honey, I think you’ve compromised a lot from the beginning. You should have set rules right away and divided the tasks. If things like this aren’t established from the start, it’s hard to fix them later on. But it’s not too late; sit down and talk openly.
We had a similar situation in our house, we were feeling quite tense because of the cleaning. In the end, we made a written work plan and hung it on the cupboard, and it became clear who would do what and when. It really worked. Would you like to try it?
Don’t be so obsessive, not everyone has to be organized like you. If they’re saying they’ll clean in the evening and manage to do it when they remember, I don’t think it’s a problem that needs to be blown out of proportion. Not everyone can live at the same pace.
In fact, disagreements about cleanliness and organization are generally linked to communication problems. In other words, the issue is not the cleanliness itself, but rather the lack of clear expectations or not prioritizing the same thing. A solution can be found through mutual conversation.
You might be right, maybe I wasn’t very involved at first. But seeing that mess all day really gets on my nerves. For example, if the counter isn’t wiped in the morning, it just piles up more when food is prepared on it. That’s why it feels like it’s growing.
I think you can do this: One day, sit down with him and make a clear division of household chores regarding cleaning. You can even write it down and stick it on the wall. You need to discuss things like ‘Counter after meals, trash every evening’ to come to a decision. Otherwise, this will keep going on 
I was wondering, besides this cleaning issue, what other problems are you experiencing? Is it limited to the kitchen or is there a more general lack of responsibility? Maybe it’s not just about cleaning, but rather a broader situation.
Me too! I was constantly clashing with my roommate over the kitchen, then I realized it wasn’t working, so I set up a shelf for my dishes and stuff. I do my own cleaning and don’t interfere much with hers. Peace has truly arrived.
But a home means a bit of order. No matter who you live with, taking responsibility is a must. Nobody in the neighborhood lives in such disorder at home. You need to somehow make them accept this, otherwise, this will end badly.