I can’t keep my life together because of my anxiety, but when I decided to go to therapy, my mom felt guilty and said, ‘Is this how we raised you?’ and my dad got angry and said, ‘Couldn’t we handle it?’ It was already a tough decision, and now hearing their reactions is holding me back. What do you think I should do in situations like this?
When my mother said, ‘Is this how we raised you?’, it felt familiar to me. When I wanted to go to therapy, my mom constantly looked for faults within herself. But we talked about it openly; I said, ‘Mom, this isn’t about you.’ Have you tried sitting down and discussing this with your mom?
I’m saying this openly: family is important in situations like this. If there’s a situation where you haven’t done this to your mother or father, give them some credit too. After all, they raised you. So, did you ever open up to them during this process? Did you try to solve everything on your own?
I study psychology, so I have some knowledge about it. In such situations, parents usually either feel guilty when they want their children to go to therapy or believe that they don’t fully understand their children. I think this might stem from their lack of information. Can you explain what therapy really is and why it’s necessary in a way that won’t hurt their feelings?
Let me add that I’ve tried to talk to my mom from time to time, but she immediately gets to the point of asking, ‘Are you trying to tell us something?’ My dad tenses up at that moment, and then we just close the subject. The truth is, I don’t intend to make them feel bad, but I just can’t explain it properly.
I can say I experienced a similar situation. My dad directly joked, “Give me the money you would pay the therapist,” while my mom was upset. I struggled a lot too, but in the end, I went to therapy. At first, I kept it a secret, but then they gradually got used to it. Maybe you could try doing it without telling anyone at first?
But I think there’s still something missing. I mean, you’re going through a tough time, okay, but family is there to support you. Doesn’t approaching them with so much ambition cause problems? If you could manage to convince your family, it feels like the issue could be resolved. Shouldn’t we consider family ties just as much as the therapist issue?