My aunt interferes in my private life at every opportunity. The last time she said, ‘You’re drawing attention with your clothes,’ while I actually dress quite simply. Should I set boundaries or should I not take it personally? I’m afraid our relationship will get strained.
5 Answers
5I had the same thing happen to me; just last week my aunt sat down and said, ‘Are you wearing those pants again?’ My sister-in-law was next to me, and I was so embarrassed I wished I could disappear. At that moment, I just laughed, but when I got home, I seriously had a breakdown. I think if you try not to get upset, you only wear yourself down.
If your aunt is actually someone who was afraid of standing out in her youth, she might be trying to suppress you because of those fears. Or perhaps she sees a freedom in you that she could never imagine for herself. This kind of thing can happen with men as well; it’s always about control.
But if you don’t express your reaction, these will happen again. You say your clothes are simple, but their perspective might be different. For instance, is your t-shirt or jeans very tight? Or could you have received comments from those around you saying your style is ‘too casual’?
People’s comments can be annoying, but it’s important to establish your own stance in this situation. You can say, ‘I don’t like these topics, let’s move on.’
Thanks for your comments, friends. I should also add that I usually buy my clothes for the work environment; I generally prefer black and white. I don’t think I wear anything too tight or revealing. But I guess my aunt will find something to criticize no matter what I do?