Last weekend, one of the places was really pricey, but the place we went to is a restaurant I really love. When the bill came, we mentioned that we wanted to split it in half, but he still paid the whole bill. When we got home, he said, ‘I’m already struggling financially.’ He might be right, but I want to feel special. Do you think romance is more important, or is it the economy?
I experienced the same thing, but it was my birthday. My friend forcibly paid the bill, and when we got home, he said, ‘I struggled paying for this, I wish you had helped.’ I can’t express how bad I felt at that moment. Truly, financial situations are important, otherwise both sides suffer.
I think you should just talk it out; if the economy is important, set a specific arrangement. For example, let one of you pay on some nights and the other one next time. This way, it remains a gesture and there’s no accumulated burden.
What kind of logic is this? You say you want to “feel special,” yet you create problems when the guy tries to pay. One should make a decision; after all, not everyone’s money is unlimited.
The relationship dynamics here are related to two things: sharing financial burdens and emotional investment. Feeling special is important, but if the other party does this continuously, they will end up unhappy due to economic imbalance. I suggest finding a middle ground through communication.
I would like to add, our discussion didn’t get too big, but still, something has stuck with me. On one hand, I feel selfish, on the other hand, I also understand him. I suppose I should express myself better.
It’s a bit dreamy to expect romance with the economy being so apparent. We’re not in the era where ‘women require care, men pay.’ If you want to be romantic, you can also make gestures; one side doesn’t always have to pay.